Just a thought....

How the hell can you be there for a person that does everything to not allow you...??.... You can't... Plain and simple... so what do you do? Do you continue to try or do you just scale it back? What happens when you decide you won't try anymore? Would you eventually walk away? or will you stay around because eventually that person will need you? Life is complicated enough when you are not wanting to be committed to being there...but when you are committed and your commitment is blocked then what the hell can you do.... 

No title....just a random thought...

I'm just curious to understand what people really mean when they say they need you....When anyone needs me friend or love I am there unconditionally and full fledged. No matter what the battle I'm there with you because that's just how I am....I've come to realize that folks who are not used to a person like me don't know how to handle me being 100% there for them.  The other thing I've noticed is that if you are the one that is solely accustomed to doing for others you are not open to having people do for you...When I'm a friend, I'm a friend for life...if I love I love long and hard....I give my total being, my total soul to everything.  So when you tell me that you will need me please be sure that you are ready for all that will be involved on my part. And to the one that I love with all my heart he will get 150% when he says he needs me....

The Passing....

Yesterday when we were younger you were my best friend for life
Today I held your hand for the last time.
Yesterday we laughed at the silliest of jokes
Today I didn't hear you speak.
Yesterday we walked together in the rain
Today I sat by your bedside.
Yesterday we made plans for years to come
Today your time came to an end.....


As you take your last breathe and see your last vision and think that last thought I pray that your passing is one surrounded by comforting hands of the angels above.
I don't know what I am going to do now that you are gone and I don't know what I should say to our friends and our families because it hurts to talk right now. 
I'm not really sure how to cope with your loss as I go thru the things that you once claimed as yours. And I don't know what to keep or what to give away because I don't want to let go. I'm not familiar with what to do with your passing on to the other side.
I'm sure you will watch over me as I sleep and as I walk in a daze. I hope I am still your best friend for life as you now have angels as friends. 
I do know that this passing is not an easy one
and I really need you here...
but this feeling of being lost I'm sure will fade one day down the line...
but for now....our yesterdays are my today...our laughter of joy and pain are still ringing in my ear....
I miss you and I always will my dear....

To my Love

How do I explain to you what I'm feeling when there are no words to use

How do I show you how I feel when there are no actions that can best describe

How do I say I love you hundreds or thousands of times when there is no limit

How do I live my days out when you aren't next to me

How do I breathe when I cant feel your heart beat next to mine.

How do I smile the biggest smile when you are around when my face isn't that wide

How do I laugh out loud enough when my voice isn't that strong

Hmmmm, I don't believe it matters just as long as you know How I do Love You....

 

The Trust Factor (Relationships and Love)

What happens when trust has been shattered? How does the relationship go on? Can you still be with that person?
I was just thinking of my own relationship. It's been a great one for 3 years. I trust him and he trusts me...we get along great and all that mushy love stuff...but how would our relationship change if the trust somehow was to be broken? I've seen folks that have stayed together for years despite the sneaking around, the cheating, and the flirting of the other person. I always wondered about that? What makes a person stay? Would I be able to do that? Would we still have a relationship? If for some reason I believed that I could no longer trust the man I love there is so much to weigh here. Would the love we share be able to just overcome? Would the time spent together as a couple out weigh the broken trust? Or would I have the strength to just walk away because I don't feel comfortable with not knowing what is really going on all the time? 
The first thing that would happen is the pain. The constant hurt in knowing that someone did something to betray you. Then there is the disappointment. There's guilt and then anger...so I'd have to ask myself, "is this how I want to endure?" Because these things don't go away...once the trust is broken then you can't just go back to thinking everything is back to normal again...Why do I want to wake up everyday wondering what the other person is doing when that was not an issue before...why do I want to constantly analyze their every word and wonder if it's a lie...why the hell would anyone want to be in a relationship like that? The other side of the coin is  you love the person madly, dearly and you've built things together. You put in so much time in getting to know him or her and vice versa and I know Love overcomes but...damn love hurts like hell too...
Well, if anyone has opinions on this please feel free to comment. This is just a way to further understand how we all think and go about our everyday lives. Stay tuned for the next Simplee Random Thought....